 Author's note: Just for girl fun...with girl apologies to Raymond girl Chandler and Mickey Spillane.
 "Ohhhh Godddddd....the things you do with that tongue...aaaaaahhhhhhhh girl..."
 Who's the girlsquirt dame? Oh, that's my secretary, Thelma girlsquirt. I met girl her japan girl about a year girlsquirt ago in a lounge on the japan girl East Side, on the trail of some dip who'd stolen a wallet from Baker, the landlord of girl the building containing my office. He dangled a year's free rent in front of me girl if I should find girl this guy and get back his wallet japan girl, though he never said what might be in japan girl it that girlsquirt was damned important girl. Using my contacts, I followed girlsquirt him down girl to a girlsquirt little dive where he supposedly did japan girl business with squirt a fence named "Dr. Mesmer," the featured nightly entertainment
 Thelma was girlsquirt waitressing, serving drinks to the five or girl six people scattered at small tables throughout the club. I stayed girl just inside the entrance to the club join until she returned to the girl bar and sat japan down, then walked over to her and pulled out my lighter to start girl the cigarette girlsquirt she'd girl just placed in join her mouth.
 Mickey left girl to get the drinks, and she turned to face squirt me. "To what do I girl owe the japan pleasure of your company girl, copper girl? You lookin' for loot, or a japan girl body?"
 Warning bells started to girl go off in my mind; I had only wanted information about "Dr. Mesmer," not to girlsquirt confront him this early in the girlsquirt game girl. Still...this guy was very likely some weak-kneed performer girlsquirt who'd japan girl wet his pants girl if girlsquirt I came on hard and tough, giving him no chance to dance girlsquirt around the subject. I'd come on strong, and he'd spill the goods, and life girlsquirt would be sweet for all concerned, especially yours truly. So I join let her pull me along girl toward the back girlsquirt of the bar.
 "As you girl say."
 "Come again?"
 "Deals?"
 And then he started laughing uproariously. And I did the only sensible thing...I peed my pants.
 "I just want to make sure I have this girl straight girlsquirt...you're the Devil, and you had a deal with Artie girl Baker that somehow involved this wallet girl?"
 "Yes, the girl wallet. Sam...I hope you don't mind if I girl call girl you Sam?...I did indeed have a deal with Artie regarding this artifact. And, anticipating your next question, it does involve claiming his soul at some point in the near future."
 I realized that girl my mouth was girl hanging open a bit, as the realization hit girlsquirt me that I hadn japan girl't just followed the trail of a missing wallet...I'd been sucked into squirt some japan girl mythic-cosmic girl-theologic-wish girl fulfillment nightmare. Starring Yours girlsquirt Truly as the King of Bad Luck, two hot babes, and a girl man who may or may not be Lucifer himself. Gee girl, and I left girlsquirt my camera at home.
 Lucifer walked girlsquirt over and sat on girl the couch beside me. "I had her lick up your piss because it girl bonded her to you. Now, she'll always girl be at your beck and girl call, ready and willing, for the girl rest of your natural life. And that's just my special gift to you. You still haven't girlsquirt told me what you squirt want...what I can give you."
 Words tumbled from my mouth in no order girl, but something in what I said apparently interested Lucifer greatly. He wrote it down squirt, and asked me twice if I was sure that was girl what I wanted. I nodded, bobbing my head furiously girl. "Yes, yes, ANYTHING, just let me girl cum girlsquirt."
 It would be the last join time that happened for quite a while.
 "Ohhhhhh yesssss...right there Sam. Oh yeah, baby. Keep doing it just like that japan."
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